That What If Moment

Saturday night I missed my ex.

I would have given anything to have him looking after me when I was sick that night.

Wait, no. I would have given anything to have a guy care about me enough to want to look after me when I was that sick.

No amount of tweets or texts helped.

Sweet.

But didn't help.

I needed a guy in person to wrap his arms around me, tell me that it would be okay.

Rub my aches and pains away.

Listen to me sook without getting shitty that I was being too needy.

Being single sucks at times.

End. Of. Rant.

Fifty-Fifty

So Saturday afternoon I have a shower, climb back into bed and that is when it happens.

The aches and pains.

Then a temperature. Which means I am hot then freezing cold. All night long. I even hallucinated that I was one of the children from work and that my mum was coming to pick me up and that it'd be okay. Soon.

*ahem*

That probably was a sign to go to the hospital, maybe.

I threw up at midnight then again at around three. The second time was mainly water. As I was keeping my fluids up.

I had no energy Sunday. Slept most of the day.

Was scared to have a shower so Sass listened as I did via skype. No video!

So minor temps Sunday night with a dash of a sore throat.

Woke up Monday morning, oh that's today, unable to swallow.

I thought that it might be an idea to go to the doctors.

At the doctors she looked at my throat, felt my swollen glands, saw some disgusting icky stuff which I'd rather not name on my tonsils.

Glandular Fever or Tonsillitis, she thinks.

So I'm on penicillin until Thursday incase it is Tonsillitis so that way it gets better.

Had blood taken. Swabs swabbed.

Thursday 845am I find out the verdict.

Luck?

Saaanks!

Oh and I have a new blog, all about fashion. So you wont find anymore of my shopping or what I am wearing stuff on here. It will all be over there. On:

One Dress Too Many

[Perfect title dontcha think?!]

Ah Bee See

Age: 24
Bed size: Queen and it's all mine!
Chore that I hate: Ironing. Which is probably why I don't own an iron.
Dogs: None.
Essential start to my day: A phone call and my morning text. Oh and not to mention brushing the toothy pegs.
Favourite colour: Navy.
Gold or silver: Gold. Duh?
Height: 170cm.
Instruments I play: Piano/Keyboard. Drums [okay, so not the proper drum set but boy can I hit them with force]. A triangle.
Job title: Early Childhood Teacher.
Kids: None.
Lives: Sydney, New South Wales.
Nicknames: None.
Overnight hospital stays: None.
Pet peeves: People who think they are funny, but aren't. Oh and people who aren't nice.
Quote from a movie: "Don't be silly Andrea, everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us." The Devil Wears Prada
Right or left handed: Right.
Siblings: One sister. She is 13.
Time I wake up: Anytime after 6am usually. Without an alarm.
Underwear: Cotton On Body undies. Oh so comfortable! Oh and Kayser bras.
Vegetable I hate: Beans and Peas.
What makes me run late: Myself when I go about things slowly.
X-rays I've had: Teeth and my left ankle.
Yummy food that I make: Pizza. From scratch.
Zoo animal: Giraffe!

Taken from Victoria Shhh.

Nothing Special

I woke up this morning just after five thirty in the morning, believe me it definitely was not planned since I don't wake up til after seven in the morning normally.

I was having a dream.

The dream started off in a bar/pub that I had been to before. In my dream of course. Which in itself is quite weird because I highly doubt it would ever exist.

So the pub is kind of like a complete circle but, and here is the wacky part where I may lose you all, to get to the other side of the pub you have to go out a door and walk down a jetty and get into a boat and cross the river.

Amazing, huh?

I have the awesome imagination.

So, I am at this pub with my friend. It is near where I live and she walks off that little bit faster then me, and being in heels I cannot keep up and lose sight of where she went.

I then bumped into four boys from work who I excitedly saw, and went to give cuddles to and they kind of brushed me off. Giving me weird looks.

This is where the alarm bells in my dream should of been telling me to wake the fuck up.

Anyway, so I leave them and go off in search of finding my friend.

Walk out the door and down the jetty, towards the boat.

As I am walking down there is a boy in front of me that I noticed. Then two run past me.

Then a comment, I cannot specifically remember why it was said but it was said:

"You're nothing special."

I think it was because I smiled at the boy.

Anyway so the boat ride was extremely awkward.

And that's when I woke up.

What the fuck does it mean?

Couldn't tell you. If anyone dabbles in dream reading, feel free to explain.

As for the awesome memory, well it is because I woke up during the dream and I texted a boy about my dream.

Smart huh?

How Did I Get Here?

So I was shopping today. The girl in Sportsgirl serving me, as I bought two pretty dresses, asked if I had any big plans for tonight.

No, a quiet one for me.
"Oh I know how you feel. I have so many twenty-first birthday parties to go to lately." She continued to discuss how many parties she has been to in the last few weeks.

I added I had busy weekends the last few so I wanted to have a quiet one at home. Saying how it was my birthday only last week.

She then asked how old I was.

Twenty-four.
To which she was shocked. Telling me I didn't look that old.

Total pick me up.

But how the fuck did I get to twenty-four?

I swear it was just last year I was turning twenty-one.

The Plan

I have been shopping too much. Spending money that I really should be saving.

I have been sleeping with guys that want nothing more than sex. Which is frustrating me.

I have been eating take away since I moved in. Not the healthiest thing to be doing.

I have been happier then I have for months. But I still bottle up the down days, and I shouldn't.

I have been hard on myself in almost all facets of my life. It only ends up in stress and tears.

I have been making excuses for everything. Which does nothing for me.

I need to stop and I need to stop doing all these things now.
I will not shop unless it is something that I need to buy. Okay, once a month I can shop, okay?

I will not sleep with another guy. Okay, so I will but only if it isn't just sex.

I will not buy take away every night of the week. Maximum of twice a week.

I will not lie to myself and own up to my feelings, good and bad.

I will not be hard on myself. I am doing a damn fine job by myself and will remind myself of this.

I will not make excuses. I will get shit done when I need to, not leave it for days or weeks because I can.

Let's see if I can do this until the end of the year.

10 Things

So because Sass did it, I have thought I should do it to do. Honestly, there is no gun being held to my head. She isn't on skype either. Promise.

Hehe.

Ten Things I Love:

1. Ice cream. Cookies and cream is my favourite, just in case you are buying.

2. Shopping. I swear you can leave your credit card with me. It will be safe.

3. Pretty dresses. Finding them can be difficult at times though especially with the boobage.

4. Cuddles. I love squishy cuddles, don't-let-me-go cuddles, just-had-sex cuddles, it's-cold cuddles. Actually I love all types of cuddles.

5. Boys with the name "Ryan". I have a slight "thing" for Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling and Beau Ryan.

6. Singing loudly. At the moment it is to Adele. Gawd that girl can sing, and I can too. Hehe.

7. Sex. There I said it. I love it. Cannot get enough of it. Especially when it is great, mind-blowing sex. Which is quite hard to come by these days.

8. Twitter. Fuck facebook in the face. Twitter is where it is at.

9. Navy stripes with red lippy. Oh my goodness it looks freaking amazing. I felt gorgeous the other day. Honest. Felt all "Hello Sailor-ish!"

10. My body. Over the past few months my body has changed so much; I am still a little in awe of its awesomeness. And at the moment I have positive body image 99% of the time. When I have my period all bets are off.

What about you? Huh? Spill!

To Buy A Car Or Not To Buy A Car?

Lately, okay so on Sunday, I was thinking about buying a car.

I had missed the opportunity to have my food delivered on Sunday and that's when I thought that all this could be reduced by me owning a car of my own.

Now, I really hadn't planned to buy a car until my birthday next year. A whole year away. As I won't drive to work as there is no parking; so I would still live where I live and realistically I don't think it is a reasonable budget idea.

But having that "freedom" of being able to drive home for the weekend or go shopping wherever I felt like it would be nice.

So, I am left with the question:

To buy a car or not to buy a car?

What I Am Wearing

Cardi: Portmans
Top: Target
Shorts: Witchery
Thongs: Havianans

To Do List

Not your ordinary list.

 

Since I separated from my ex, I have explored a range of different guys. I've tried and tested electricians, a builder, a businessman [or two], a studying doctor, a teacher, and half tested the fireman. I have shopped until I could not shop anymore. I have sung loudly and danced around in my underwear. I purchased a vibrator. Yelled at a boy or two and told them how much of an arse they just were. I loudly expressed to a friend how "fuckable" a guy was. Managed to get almost drunk off three drinks [I would call it extremely happy]. I realised that I can fall asleep in someone's arms. I fell in love with the middle of the night cuddles, all over again. I have fallen asleep because I have been crying so much. I have heard the "just friends" so often that I am over hearing it. I found out that I have a tendency to bite during sex [accidents, of course!] I have laughed so hard that I cried.

Most importantly I have been living my life, not regretting a moment.

Can you say that?

[image credit]

I Love Ice Cream

It is certainly no lie that I would kill for ice cream.

So when I popped on facebook this evening. My friend had shared this image:



I squealed with delight.

I must buy that stinking print! You can buy it here from etsy!

Then I found this one.



Can I has them both?